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Aug. 27th, 2011 10:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
davidmaclunaThe rewrite and recovery of Sunset goes on - all of you who commented on pacing and flatspots were listened to; here's a clip from near the end of the book; recommend reading while this plays in the background:
"You need to listen to your messages more often, Nephew," My uncle says, smoke curling from the shotgun's short barrels, "This hadda be -
A lightning fast, almost casual, sidekick from Billy Cuentes shuts him up, sends him tumbling right back down the concrete stairs he'd popped up from.
Time to play what little hand I have. I reach out, grip invisible puppet strings, and yank hard.
Bodies retain something even after those that lived in them have left; the wet, steaming corpse that had been Dana Susan North swarms up Billy Cuente's side. He screams. She leans into his face and growls, "KIZZ ME", even as the pale, cold body that once belonged to Nunzio Grappeli grips Billy's head in both hands.
Billy's neck thumps softly, like a firecracker wrapped in wet velvet, as it snaps. I understand, even empathize, when Paddy Glumb loses control of his bladder.
He's not facing me; I use the Louisville Slugger as a brace, half climbing it to sway on my feet, distracting Paddy by raising the still-twitching body of William Jueges Cuentes to its feet. Head rolling at an angle that would make vision impossible, it steps toward Paddy anyway; he backs away, moving perfectly into the batter's zone.
"Hey, Paddy," I say, very quietly. He turns. I swing.
When I was a child, back in the hills, the day after Halloween was almost as fun as the night itself. Being a poor section of the world, we had very little other decorations than pumpkins and candles, which meant that there were a lot of rotten gourds after All Hallows had come and gone. We boys would target them with feet, clubs and baseball bats; they'd fly apart, splattering and spraying a gruesome mess that was somehow very satisfying to cause.
Paddy Glumb's death is something like that. I smile and, wheezing from my collapsing lungs and broken ribs, turn to face the man who'd killed so many, including those closest to me.
"You need to listen to your messages more often, Nephew," My uncle says, smoke curling from the shotgun's short barrels, "This hadda be -
A lightning fast, almost casual, sidekick from Billy Cuentes shuts him up, sends him tumbling right back down the concrete stairs he'd popped up from.
Time to play what little hand I have. I reach out, grip invisible puppet strings, and yank hard.
Bodies retain something even after those that lived in them have left; the wet, steaming corpse that had been Dana Susan North swarms up Billy Cuente's side. He screams. She leans into his face and growls, "KIZZ ME", even as the pale, cold body that once belonged to Nunzio Grappeli grips Billy's head in both hands.
Billy's neck thumps softly, like a firecracker wrapped in wet velvet, as it snaps. I understand, even empathize, when Paddy Glumb loses control of his bladder.
He's not facing me; I use the Louisville Slugger as a brace, half climbing it to sway on my feet, distracting Paddy by raising the still-twitching body of William Jueges Cuentes to its feet. Head rolling at an angle that would make vision impossible, it steps toward Paddy anyway; he backs away, moving perfectly into the batter's zone.
"Hey, Paddy," I say, very quietly. He turns. I swing.
When I was a child, back in the hills, the day after Halloween was almost as fun as the night itself. Being a poor section of the world, we had very little other decorations than pumpkins and candles, which meant that there were a lot of rotten gourds after All Hallows had come and gone. We boys would target them with feet, clubs and baseball bats; they'd fly apart, splattering and spraying a gruesome mess that was somehow very satisfying to cause.
Paddy Glumb's death is something like that. I smile and, wheezing from my collapsing lungs and broken ribs, turn to face the man who'd killed so many, including those closest to me.
